he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
