Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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