i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
