I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
