i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
He kissed a someone with a penis
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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