my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
