I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
