apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
