airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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