i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
