Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You brought string cheese to the strip club
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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