Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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