ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
