he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
