I heard we made out
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
