i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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