How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
