he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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