Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This baby is an asshole
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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