Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
