in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Don't make out with my wife yet
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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