i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
