he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She needs sedatives and a leash
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
