I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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