loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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