I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
