I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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