it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
