with your own penis?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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