Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
