Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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