So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
