'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
