You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize