Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
God, you're like boner-b-gone
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
