I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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