Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
