So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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