he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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