I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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