So drunk its hurt
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
