so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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