we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
