If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
