Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
