i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
