Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
