He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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