If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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