Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
