I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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