You just made me feel so damn special
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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