Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize