So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
