There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Do vagina's smell?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
