what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
