You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
