i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
