you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
