how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
