i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
