well you can't waste a boner
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
