i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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