What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
